Divvying Up the Family Belongings

Divvying up a family’s personal belongings – often the small, simple items of little monetary value – has long had the potential to ignite many family feuds, even for those families who enter the process with the best of intentions.

That’s because the value we attach to the small personal possessions is usually sentimental or emotional, and because the simple items are the things that most families fail to talk about. Here are some tips that can help you pass along your possession without splitting heirs.

Divvying Solutions
The best solution for passing along family possessions is for you to take a stroll through the house with your adult heirs – either separately or all at once, depending on how well they get along and how far apart they live. Open up cabinets, drawers and closets, and go through boxes in the attic to find out which items they would like to inherit and why (they may have some emotional attachment to something you’re not aware of). If more than one child wants the same thing, you can have the ultimate say. Then you need to sit down and make a list of who gets what on paper, signed, dated and referenced in your will. You may also want to consider writing an additional letter or creating a video that further explains your intentions.

If this isn’t done – and for most families it isn’t – here are some other tips that may help your heirs avoid or resolve fights over possessions:

• Use stickers: Consider using colored stickers (or labels) to identify who gets what. Assign a different color to each person involved. If an item gets more than one sticker, you’ll have to negotiate. But beware that stickers can fall off, or can be moved by unscrupulous heirs.
• Take turns choosing: Use a round-robin process where family members take turns picking out items they would like to have. If “who goes first” becomes an issue, you can always flip a coin or draw straws. Also, to help simplify things, break down the dividing process room by room, versus tackling the entire house.
• Have a family auction: Give each person involved the same amount of “play money,” or use “virtual points” to bid on the items you want.
• Have items appraised: Battles can erupt over whether things are being divided fairly by monetary value. Having an appraiser assess the value of items like jewelry, antiques and art can help assure a fair distribution.
• Other considerations: Some families take into account care-giving contributions, economic status or family situations when determining how to distribute property.

Savvy Tip: Experts at the University of Minnesota have created a great resource that addresses this very issue called “Who Gets Grandma’s Yellow Pie Plate?” It offers a Web site (www.yellowpieplate.umn.edu) along with a detailed workbook for $12.50 plus shipping, and video or DVD for $30 that provides pointers to help families discuss property distribution and lists important factors to keep in mind that can help avoid conflict. You can order a copy online or by calling 800-876-8636.