How to Help a Hoarding Parent
Dear Savvy Senior,
My dad has always been a pack rat, but since mom died a few years ago he’s become more of a hoarder. The clutter in his house has gotten out of control and I don’t know what to do. Any suggestions?
—Distraught in Centerville
Dear Distraught,
Unfortunately, hoarding or clutter addiction is a problem that’s become increasingly common in the U.S. It effects approximately 6 percent of Americans age 65 or older. The problem can range anywhere from moderate messiness to hoarding so severe it may be related to a mental health disorder like obsessive-compulsive disorder. Here’s what you should know, along with some tips and resources that can help you help your dad.
Why People Hoard
The reasons most people hoard is because they have an extreme sentimental attachment to their possessions, or they believe they might need their items at a later date. Hoarding can also be a sign that an older person is depressed, anxious or showing early symptoms of dementia.
Common problems for seniors who live in excessive clutter are tripping, falling and breaking a bone; overlooking bills and missing medications that are hidden in the clutter; suffering from the environmental effects of mold, mildew and dust, and even living among insects and rodents.
What to Do
To help you gauge your dad’s problem, the Institute for Challenging Disorganization (ICD) offers a free “Clutter Hoarding Scale” that you can download at ChallengingDisorganization.org.
If you find that your dad has a moderate cluttering problem, there are a number of things you can do to help.
Start by having a talk with him, expressing your concern for his health and safety, and offering your assistance to help him declutter.
If he takes you up on it, most professional organizers recommend decluttering in small steps. Take one room at a time or even a portion of a room at a time. This will help prevent your dad from getting overwhelmed.
Before you start, designate three piles or boxes for your dad’s stuff – one pile is for items he wants to keep-and-put-away, another is the donate pile and the last is the throwaway pile.
You and your dad will need to determine which pile his things belong in as you work. If he struggles with sentimental items that he doesn’t use, suggest he keep only one item for memory sake and donate the rest to family members who will use them.
You will also need to help him set up a system for organizing the kept items and new possessions.
Find Help
If you need some help with the decluttering and organizing, consider hiring a professional organizer who can come to your dad’s home to help you prioritize, organize and remove the clutter.
The National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals (NAPO.net) and the ICD (ChallengingDisorganization.org) both offer directories on their websites to help you locate a professional in your area.
If your dad has a bigger, more serious hoarding problem (if his daily functioning is impaired, or if he is having financial difficulties, health problems, or other issues) you’ll need to seek professional help.
Talk therapy and/or antidepressants can help address control issues, anxiety, depression, and other feelings that may underline hoarding tendencies, and make it easier for him to confront his disorder.
To locate help, contact Helping Elders Live Productively (H.E.L.P.). This is a free education, counseling, and referral resource that helps older adults and their families who are experiencing hoarding, by connecting them with legal services, mental health assistance and support groups. Call 310-533-1996 for a referral or visit Help4srs.org/support-services-for-seniors-who-hoard.
You can also find professional help through the International OCD Foundation, which provides a hoarding center on their website at Hoarding.iocdf.org.
And to get help with challenging cleanup jobs, the biggest provider is Steri-Clean, Inc. (see Hoarders.com or call 800-462-7337), a hoarding cleanup company that has franchises located throughout the country.