KFOR-TV: The Letter Your Loved Ones Will Treasure
The most meaningful letter you’ll ever write may be the one your loved ones read after you’re gone.
Watch segment on KFOR-TV
What would you want your loved ones to remember about you? Not your bank balance or the things you owned, but your stories, your values, and your voice. Those are often what matter most in the end, and they’re exactly what a “legacy letter” is designed to preserve.
Why write one?
Many people think a legacy is just money or property. But often, it’s your words, values, and life lessons that leave the deepest mark. A legacy letter – sometimes called an ethical will – is a personal note to your loved ones where you can share your values, life lessons, cherished memories, hopes, and guidance. Unlike a traditional will, which focuses on legal matters, a legacy letter comes straight from the heart.
A legacy letter gives your family something to hold onto – your stories, your traditions, and the experiences that shaped who you are. Children and grandchildren often return to these letters for comfort, guidance, or inspiration long after you’re gone. In many ways, it becomes an emotional last will and testament, answering some of the most important questions about your life.
It can also help explain the “why” behind your estate plan in a personal, thoughtful way. While a will handles the legal and financial details, a legacy letter adds context—why you made certain decisions or what you hope your loved ones will do with what you leave behind. That added perspective can ease misunderstandings, strengthen family connections, and leave a lasting sense of closeness.
Getting started
Getting started may feel daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. Begin by reflecting on what matters most to you and the experiences that shaped your life. Consider asking yourself:
- What values or principles have guided my life?
- What moments or experiences am I most grateful for?
- What mistakes or regrets taught me the most?
- How do I hope to be remembered by my loved ones?
- What lessons, advice, or guidance do I want to leave for my family?
- Which family traditions, stories, or dreams do I want future generations to carry forward?
Keep it personal and sincere. You can write one letter or several for different family members. Most letters run one to three pages, though there’s no strict rule.
If you’d like a little guidance, Trust & Will offers a free legacy letter writing guide with step-by-step prompts to help you organize your thoughts and begin. You can find it at trustandwill.com/learn/legacy-letter-writing-guide.
If writing isn’t your thing, consider creating a legacy video instead. Speaking directly to your loved ones allows you to share stories and reflections in your own voice. With today’s smartphones, it’s easy to record high-quality video that captures not just your words, but your expressions and personality in a way a letter cannot.
Storing and sharing
Once your letter or video is complete, be sure to keep it in a safe, accessible place. Physical letters can be stored in a secure file, safe, or with your attorney, while digital files can be backed up to the cloud or an external drive. You may choose to share them now or leave them to be discovered later.
Whatever you decide, include clear instructions in your will so your family knows where to find them.
In the end, a legacy letter or video becomes the heart behind your will. It’s your chance to share what mattered most, to tell your story in your own words, and to leave behind something deeply personal—something your loved ones can return to again and again.